At times the darkness broods and hovers and I want to play hard and rough.

Sometimes I know that my beast is too ferocious to truly be set free.

This article is going to try and share with you all what I do to help tame that beast before I play. It might be simple for many of you, hell it might just be small precious handfuls that have tendencies as dark as mine can get.

The key here is release and grounding.

The Situation:

Like a slow itch that, with time, builds and grows worse until you can no longer ignore it.

I try very hard to stay clear of other humans during this phase. The Power Exchange is incredible. I drag others through feelings that are strong enough to match the feelings and surges that a druggie gets from snorting for the very first time. I tend to attract those that need a VERY strong Domme, one that has strict lines with little to no leeway for interpretation. I attract those that get off on harsh pain play and beg for more.

Yet this does nothing but feed this need.

The Problem:

It is important to curb that inner animal.

Just like submissives have sub space, a dominant has dom space (duh). Usually mine is playful. I love finding those lines of another and pushing them slowly to the side, testing the strength and placement of said lines. To see what I can get away with like a mischievous child. Coaxing, stroking; urging closed doors to open from my will alone. At times though, I want to be rough, I want to hear someone scream, I want to feel my own body shake from how hard something hits. If I don’t feed this need, it grows.

Sometimes things can trigger this need, usually a dark seductive song that sinks into my being and spreads like a disease. Sometimes it’s a particularly delicious movie scene or the atmosphere in a club on a certain night. I soak in a very Goth-like sensation, a love of darkness, a craving for the taboo things in the universe.
It can be down right dangerous to let this beast run rampant, to release it during a scene. It is not SAFE for the submissive because they sink so deeply into sub space that as a dominant you have to be alert and aware of everything. You can’t allow your mind to be clouded. You have to be able to see those very subtle signs or warning that your submissive may be so deep into their space that they are simply unable to call a safe word.

They key here is that you are in CONTROL, not just of the scene or the submissive but of yourself as well.

So when you feel yourself slipping deeper and darker into that “space”, when your beast inside is hungry and growling in the back of your mind.. FIND and outlet.

Possible Solutions:

For me they key is physical exhaustion. If I can catch it before it consumes me then I can squelch it with meditation instead.

Find a quiet place, study different forms of meditation that seem to “speak” to you and practice. Ground yourself, release all of those things back into the world through this grounding and release it that way.

Go to the gym and work out until your body simply cannot move anymore, until you feel as though your heart is going to thump right out of your chest and that your lungs simply cannot hold the air inside long enough to do any real good. Take a break from the work out and do it again and again and again. Release your beast though every sweat gland you have.

Clean, work in a garden, write.

Anything that can leave you physically spent. Only after you have had this release - then enjoy the treats of a good scene. Let it be a tasty dessert for you.
Warning:

Yes there are submissives that really get off with true rough harshness. But remember there are many safety concerns that you need to keep hold of. It is far too easy to let someone be pushed way too far. We do things within our “playtime” that would make a doctor cringe and get the paddles ready just in case, simply because they know just how easy it is for something to go drastically wrong.

Once you allow yourself to let go of that beast, you run the risk of becoming a danger junkie. Always remember that it is not your life hanging in the balance here, it is another’s.

ALWAYS PLAY SAFE